Burn This Article!

Well, 9-11 weekend has gone by, and although Florida's Pastor Terry Jones didn't wind up incinerating any Korans, plenty of other folks did.  In other parts of the world, a great many far more honorable American flags went up in smoke in response.

Most people didn't burn anything, partly out of a desire not to show unwarranted disrespect for someone else's "holy" book, flag, or whatever.

Fair enough.  No doubt there are parts of the Koran that don't deserve to be immolated.  Those blank pages at the front and rear, for example - no need for them to go to waste.  Save a tree!

The most cursory examination shows, however, that there are many parts of the Koran for which there is no better or more just fate than being consigned to the flames.  As a courtesy, we provide a selection of the most inflammatory passages here.

Simply print out this article, and light a match!  Have no fear of offending anyone - because anyone who would be offended at the desecration of these particular passages is an uncivilized barbarian unworthy of consideration or concern for their feelings.

America has had relatively few problems absorbing the majority of our immigrants who claim the name of Islam precisely because they don't follow these parts of the Koran.  We have trouble with anyone, whether born into Islam or converted, who takes these passages seriously enough to act on them.

The issue is not with Islam per se; our problem lies with people who consider the Koran as written to be their definitive rule of faith and practice.  That's why it's appropriate to burn the offending passages and leave the rest alone.

The best way to do that is to read these passages one by one, explain why they're fit for the fire (it should be pretty obvious), and light it off.  By the time you get to the end, your audience ought to understand that although perhaps many of the people who claim to be Muslim have no interest in committing violence, Koran-based fundamentalist Islam is a religion neither of tolerance nor of peace... which makes it intolerable.

Slay them wherever you find them...Idolatry is worse than carnage...Fight against them until idolatry is no more and God's religion reigns supreme. - Surah 2:190

Fighting is obligatory for you, much as you dislike it. - Surah 2:216

Believers, do not make friends with any but your own people...They desire nothing but your ruin....You believe in the entire Book...When they meet you they say: 'We, too, are believers.' But when alone, they bite their finger-tips with rage. - Surah 3:118, 119

What are you waiting for?

Forbidden to you are...married women, except those you own as slaves. - Surah 4:20, 24

Seek out your enemies relentlessly. - Surah 4:103

Believers, take neither Jews nor Christians for your friends. - Surah 5:51

Make war on them until idolatry shall cease and God's religion shall reign supreme. - Surah 8:36

...make war on the leaders of unbelief...Make war on them: God will chastise them at your hands and humble them. He will grant you victory over them... - Surah 9:12

Believers, make war on the infidels who dwell around you. Deal firmly with them. - Surah 9:121

Allah enjoins you concerning your children: The male shall have the equal of the portion of two females. - Surah 4:11

Call in to witness from among your men two witnesses; but if there are not two men, then one man and two women from among those whom you choose to be witnesses. - Surah 2:282

If you fear highhandedness from your wives, remind them [of the teaching of God], then ignore them when you go to bed, then hit them. - Surah 4:34

Fight against such as those to whom the Scriptures were given [Jews and Christians]...until they pay tribute out of hand and are utterly subdued. - Surah 9:27

Prophet, make war on the unbelievers and the hypocrites and deal rigorously with them. Hell shall be their home. - Surah 9:73