Proof that Global Warming is Real

by Friendly Bear

Throughout my life I have often heard and read that good character requires you to admit your mistakes. Today, I must admit that Global Warming is real, and happening much faster than predicted.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) and Greta Thunberg have screamed that the Earth’s temperature is increasing at a rate of 3/4 of a degree per century, and that all life will perish in just over 11 years.

It’s much worse. This morning the temperature was increasing at a rate of 4-5 degrees per hour!

A check of weather data showed that the temperature increased similarly from dawn to mid-afternoon yesterday and the day before. Where we thought we had years for life on Earth to adjust, it looks like we have mere minutes.

Our only hope may be some preliminary weather data showing Global Cooling occurring between mid-afternoon and dawn. Let’s try to keep our spirits up and I’ll update you as new data comes in.

But, before we run in panic to a safe space at a nearby university, let’s try to make sense of global warming. Many of the global warming alarmists and believers live in low-elevation coastal cities, like New York City or Miami. Some of them own beautiful beachfront homes costing millions of dollars.

Hmm... if you really thought the ocean was going to rise soon, would you put millions of dollars where it could easily be washed away? Just asking.

It seems like every year a conference forecasting global warming is attended by elites who fly in on their private powerful jets. Nine years ago, I was at the general aviation section of a major airport when a global warming believer drove up in her Earth-friendly Prius, only to board her private jet that burned 3,500 pounds of Jet-A fuel per hour.

Recently, global warming believers are blaming cow flatulence for producing “greenhouse gases”. I’m pretty sure that even a whole herd can’t complete with Leonardo DiCaprio’s jet.

During coronavirus lockdowns, several global warming alarmists joyously speculated that lockdowns could be used to reduce “greenhouse gas” emissions, kind of like a giant choker chain on the economy. Is that supposed to be good?

Archaeologists tell us that much of what is now the United States, once was covered in ice during, yep, you guessed it, the Ice Age. I don’t know about you, but I would prefer warmer weather to my yard being covered in ice.

I’m curious - when the Ice Age ended roughly 10,000 years ago, were humans roaring up and down the road in big SUVs? Were coal fueled power plants cranking out “greenhouse gases” 10,000 years ago?

One of the dreaded “greenhouse gases” is carbon dioxide. That’s right, CO2, the stuff you breathe out. Plants, as you may know, breathe in CO2. If the level of CO2 really was increasing, I wouldn’t have to struggle to grow grass in my yard.

These are anecdotal evidence, but what we really need is objective evidence.  So, let’s conduct a scientific experiment to determine how bad global warming could get. 

The American National Center for Atmospheric Research says that the Earth’s atmosphere has an average mass of 5.1480x10^18 kg, with a teenie variation due to humidity.

NASA says the Earth has a mass of 5.972x10^24 kg. That means the Earth, with all its dirt and metal and water, is about 1.16 million times as heavy as the atmosphere.

According to the US Treasury, a penny made after 1982 has a mass of 2.5 grams, which is 0.005511557 pounds, because pennies are nowadays copper plated zinc. Let’s multiply the weight of a penny, 0.005511557 pounds, times 1.16 million!

That gives us 6393 pounds, about the same weight as the delivery truck that brings your new washer or dryer, or big screen TV.

So, the mass of the Earth is to the mass of the atmosphere...as a delivery truck is to a penny.

Hey, let’s test global warming! I’ll heat our penny up to 500 degrees Fahrenheit and place it on the hood of the delivery truck, while you put your hand on the back bumper. Did you feel the back bumper get warm? I didn’t either.

Is global warming real? Yes, but so is global cooling - it goes in cycles. However, manmade global warming is not real. One good sun burp (solar flare) can eclipse all of the heat ever created by humans. Maybe we’re not as powerful as we want to pretend to be.

I’m beginning to think that manmade global warming is nothing more than a leftist’s way of complaining about a warm sunny day.