C’mon Man! Why I Am Voting For Joe

by A. Reaper

In my humble opinion, there is one Presidential candidate the nation must get behind – Joe Biden. As a conservative, I’ve made it very simple for you to see why he is The Man:

1. Hard-Working: Mr. Biden attended college on a full-academic scholarship, graduated near the top of his class and was recognized for his achievements.
2. Relatable: Joe got his “hands dirty” as a blue-bollar worker – more than the vast majority of people can say about their jobs.
3. Difference Maker: Joe struggled with being a Conservative or Democrat. Ultimately, he thought the Democratic Party was more for the working-man. Mr. Biden gave an exceptional speech on how he had a “platform” – unlike his ancestors.
4. Solid Communicator: Not like today, where I will admit he has slipped. In the 80s and 90s, he could hold an audiences’ attention just as well as any of the Kennedys.
5. Private Life, Private: Politically, Mr. Biden never used the tragedy of losing his first wife and young daughter to the hands of a drunk driver.
6. Honesty: Unlike other politicians, Joe never used his position of power to enhance his personal wealth or grant favors to others.
7. Color-blind: Though an older man from a different generation, Joe never showed any racist characteristics. He treated all men – and women – as equals.

Important Note: All of the above statements about Vice President Biden have been widely reported in our mainstream media.

They are also complete lies.  Here's the truth:

Joe loves to state he received a full-scholarship, was a top student, and won special recognition for his academic achievements. None of these claims are true. And he graduated 76th out of 85 in law school.

In 1969, Joe became a lawyer – he was never a coalminer as he stated.  Biden held his first political position in 1970; he did struggle with which party to be affiliated, ultimately choosing the one that would help him best with voters. From 1973 to 2009 he was a U.S. Senator before becoming Vice President for eight years.

Joe was indeed able to deliver speeches with all the style of the Kennedys.  That's because he plagiarized speeches from Robert Kennedy and British Politician Neil Kinnock, to name but a few. Joe’s dad was a used-car salesman, not from a long line of coalminers like Neil Kinnock actually was - Joe didn't even bother to correct that bit of the speech when he copied it.

Joe did face a horrific tragedy when his wife turned into on-coming traffic. This alone is very sad, but he went a step further: He repeatedly stated the truck driver that hit his wife’s car was drunk, an allegation proven false. After years of embellishing this story, he finally called the daughter of the then-deceased innocent truck driver and apologized for his behavior.

Mr. Biden’s 2017 tax return shows him paying $3.7 million. While in office, Mr. Biden was always ranked as one of the least wealthy Politicians, which for years was used as evidence of his personal probity.  Obviously, once out-of-office, Joe was able to cash-in his chips. It couldn’t have hurt how much money his son Hunter was bringing in.

Joe wooed an audience with a personal story on how he “dealt” with an Ukraine investigation – not any inquiry, but one involving Burisma Holdings and his son Hunter.  They were paying his beloved boy $83,333 per month from April 2014 through November 2015 to basically do nothing.  Also, his special child decided he wanted to play soldier. Even though Hunter was over the Navy’s age limit, Daddy-Dearest got him an exemption. And then Joe literally swore him into the Navy. What a Ceremony! But, unfortunately, Hunter got kicked-out nine months later when he tested positive for cocaine.

Lastly, Joe was admittedly against school integration and busing. He did so much to keep schools segregated, one would think he was trying to impress the KKK. Biden also spoke how Barack Obama was a different type of black: “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy—I mean, that's a storybook, man.”

“A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth.”

 – Aesop

If you vote for a serial liar, what does that say about you?