Emotionless

I'm worn out.

The first half of the year was not easy. Due to the hospital administering a bit too much fentanyl, a medical test went very wrong. Regardless, I was conscious throughout it, even when my chest clinched tight and I could no longer breathe. It felt like a giant snake was wrapped around me, squeezing with unspeakable might. The internal chest pain was not something that I had ever experienced before. A nurse was reading a computer screen and screaming out numbers which I could no longer hear clearly, a technician turned his back to me doing something and I could not signal him.

For a period that was likely between twelve and twenty-five seconds, I could not breathe or speak. At a moment when I was objectively sure my heart was ceasing to function, the adverse reaction inexplicably ended.

Breathing again, my heart resumed beating, and at the first measurement, I had a blood pressure of 70/52. The nurse and the technician were rapidly saying something, but my ears just didn't work enough for me to understand them. Wary about what had just happened, I stood up and walked back to the internal waiting room. None of us thought about the little, ECG stickies on my chest. Later that night, I stood in front of a mirror and photographed them.

Despite the downsides it was strangely liberating. I had learned some of the sensations and thoughts which we eventually experience. Most of all, I was proud of myself for not flinching, not showing fear, not breaking down. However, as I left, I did glance back at where I had been to make sure the nurse and the tech weren't doing CPR on me, because I had promised myself a "meat lovers" pizza after the test.

Still, I was pretty sure that there wouldn't be a second half of the year. Thus, I began reading about politics as though it were a sport, figuring that I wouldn't live long enough to feel the consequences.

Two months later, my romantic vision of the medical world was finally shattered when I learned that the shiny chrome paddles, wielded by the heroic doctor in the climatic scene of every stupid medical show, don't exist. They use cheesy, one-time-use sticky patches, just like the patches in the AED boxes.

A third procedure went well. My treating medical professionals brought their "A-game" to that one. I knew if they kept trying they could get it right!

During this time, I only told three family members and a friend. The friend promised to clean up loose ends if I had a bad day, and I had to tell the three family members in case I didn't show up to future holiday dinners.

Meanwhile, I continued to work and took off minimal time, lest anyone else figure it out.

For me, the political twists and turns were a welcome diversion. They reminded me that some things are more important than ourselves. America as a Constitutional Republic far exceeds any miserable little value which I will ever have.

Spring turned to summer, and the pessimism of 3 1/2 years was eased by Biden's debate performance. Seventy million Democrats and Independents got to see what we tried to tell them.

Then, despite my new, colder outlook on life, on a Saturday evening in July, the events that unfolded in a wonderful town in Pennsylvania made me gasp, then leap to my feet and yell with pride, as Trump, miraculously saved from an assassin's bullet, defiantly thrust his fist into the air. The Deep State had failed to assassinate Trump.

Barely thirty seconds after a bullet tore through his ear, Trump's courage and leadership, backdropped by a giant American flag, cemented his larger-than-life image. Trump was now a folk hero, a real-life Flash Gordon fighting an evil Deep State, despite seemingly insurmountable odds.

I suppose that I felt a connection because we were both still above dirt.

Considering that I had not yet cooled to room temperature, and still had bills to pay, I jumped back into my work. My clients are very polite when I speak with them, but beginning in September, I noticed that most will not return a text or call. Even when we are discussing an ongoing case, they are quiet, almost withdrawn. Living in a big Blue city, more of my clients are Democrats than Republicans. Be they Democrats or Republicans, they share so many honorable and noble character traits. This malaise, this pessimism, this depression, has infected Democrats and Republicans alike.

The same phenomenon has been occurring among some of my friends. It has been occurring more among males, though a few females share the traits. One-by-one, they have become self-isolating. A few have quit their jobs.  We are not talking about street people or people with addictions, these are clients and neighbors and friends, including one friend of thirty-six years. These people have excelled in their lives.

Seeking to understand why increasing numbers of successful people, who have been consistently responsible, are replicating autistic behavior, I have listened to their phrases in common. All of them feel hated, vilified by the Woke and Leftist bureaucrats. In casual conversations, they often thrust their face into their hands and blurt out a sentence about something that angers them. Commonly expressed angers include a DEI-focused workplace, where merit is no longer considered. "I was one of three fire captains. I had 28 years experience. She had 12 years of experience and they made her fire chief!" Other angers were driven by the tax burden; a woman realtor lost her composure while saying, "Why should I have to pay more taxes?!" A friend who works for a telecommunications company recently went into his office location and found that one out of every three employees had been fired. "The guy in my work group they let go was smarter than me. I'm worried I'll be next."

The pattern is that these people feel unappreciated, and rightly so. Curiously, nearly all of these people have commented on TV commercials. "The man is always made to look stupid. A real clown."

"I hate my job! The company higher ups don't appreciate me. I've been traveling through Europe for a month. I get two days at home and then I have to go to China." After careful interaction, I have concluded that the "withdrawal" is their fear and anxiety over the future.

Some of my neighbors are still nice, while others became irritable in October. One weekend, on separate occasions, two of my liberal white women neighbors replied to my sidewalk greeting with, "Don't bother! followed other stuff. A week before the election, I called one of my friends who lives several houses away, to ask him to join me for lunch, which we usually do every three or four weeks. He didn't answer, so I left a voicemail. Later, he sent me a snarky text that he was busy doing everything he could to get Kamala Harris elected. I dropped it and we haven't spoken since. Frankly, in October around my neighborhood, I saw more "rear ends" than does a proctologist.

As the election approached, as a political critter, I stayed wound up, sleeping less than 5 hours most nights of the week. A poll would come out, only to be contradicted by the next poll.

Due to the unpredictable nature of my work, I have embraced early voting, assuring that I won't miss an election. This time, while waiting in the eternal line, a liberal white woman began threatening to spit on a woman campaign worker offering a "conservative voting guide." There were other obnoxious exchanges during the two and a half hour wait.

Inspiringly, two candidates were present, both hoping to reach a few more voters. One is a Democrat and the other a Republican. Both of these gentlemen were steadfastly polite and respectful.

This morning I was pondering the fact that four decades ago, some people thought I was paranoid about the course of the country. Now they think I'm naive. Somewhere along the way, I would have been considered level-headed. Too bad I missed those brief few seconds.

Also, I have concluded that many of "The Withdrawn" will never warm up and re-enter society on their own; their wounds are too deep. It will take true leaders to earn their trust. We need these people because they make America a better place. Ignore them, write them off, and American society will further decay toward a Mad Max world. Don't believe me? Chicago. Detroit. New York City. Portland. Los Angeles. Oakland. The Withdrawn are many of the people who are leaving these cities. They are taking their skill sets and tax payments to Red States. Prove me wrong.

You can see this phenomenon with your own eyes. Drive on I-95 and look at the moving vans, and the rental trucks and trailers, all headed to Red states. They are not on vacation, they are moving, never to move back.

The fear of a Kamala Harris regime, with its further declining economy and crushing oppression were "stopping the breathing" of the Withdrawn. These people are not stupid, and they are tired of being vilified by the Democrats and ignored by the Establishment Republicans.

Like a clever stage magician using sleight of hand, pollsters misdirected the public, on both sides, into expecting a Kamala win. Perhaps they did it to promote Kamala, or did they expect an influx of fraudulent ballots?

The Deep State, that hidden unelected "machine" who has been secretly running our government since WWII. While Biden slept on the beach and Kamala was on the campaign trail, or bellied up to a bar, the Deep State was churning away censoring what we could read and say, banning certain foods, vitamins, supplements, medications, guns, and gas stoves, controlling our lives, running wars for fun and profit, importing every Third World cat-eating criminal, and generally being tyrannical in their treatment of American citizens.

The Deep State is not incompetent. In fact, they have over 4 million trained intelligence operatives and spies, 200,000 Federal law enforcement officers, and unprecedented technology. Regularly, they overthrow elected leaders and install new, "more favorable" leaders in their place. Need a 100,000 protesters against Netanyahu in Israel? No problem. Want a puppet President of Ukraine? The Deep State can do it. The Deep State will even throw in a legend to make him look unshakable. The Deep State have been the unmatched masters of manipulating elections. Even Joe Biden said, "We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics."

Over the years, the Deep State has transformed from an urban legend, a conspiracy theory, into an acknowledged ruling entity. Two weeks before the election, I asked a Kamala voter if it bothered her that the unelected Deep State is running America and that Biden and Kamala are both puppets? "No," she responded, "I think the Deep State does a really good job."

On November 6th, the morning after Election Day, four of the Withdrawn shocked me with their texts and spoken words. The four, three Trump supporters and one Kamala supporter, said that they had feared a civil war, but now felt greatly relieved. Similar sentiments began to be posted on social media. I have concluded that many of the Withdrawn might have become so out of fear.

Kamala's supporters were confident at every level. Beginning in August, Kamala's supporters brazenly predicted a sweeping Kamala victory. Lower level Kamala supporters were assured by the now-discredited polls, but her high level supporters knew about the fraud already in motion.

Polling stations with high percentages of likely Trump voters would have "ballot shortages," "gas leaks," or "overworked poll staff." Then, police would tell voters that they had to "leave and come back tomorrow." Even if they voted, poll workers in troubled locations would say, "Put your ballot in this box and someone will put your ballot into the machine later. (Wink, wink, smile)"

Voters who refused to leave a spontaneously-closed polling station were threatened with arrest, and some were actually arrested. Judges took steps to mitigate the voter suppression, but it kept reoccurring.

Mail-in voting was made for fraud. There is often no way to verify who actually voted. It allows vote counting to be extended for nefarious purposes.

The masterpiece of vote fraud is the "3 a.m. ballot dump." The ballot counting is suspended for the night and most of the poll workers are sent home, and poster board is placed over the windows. It's a nice touch to have a water or gas leak conveniently occur.

Suddenly, box loads of ballots mysteriously, yet conveniently, appear from local delivery trucks, vans, suitcases hidden beneath a table. "Oh, lookee, 130,000 mail-in ballots, and they're all for Kamala!" Dispersed to key precincts around America, the fake ballots totaled more than 18 million. Hey, it worked in 2020, so it should work in 2024.

Then, something happened that has never occurred before, something unimaginable. A rag-tag guerrilla "army" of hundreds of thousands of amateurs, from every background, race, religion, and walk of life, came together and defeated the very best of the Deep State. They were united in a belief that we restore our republic and live in peace and prosperity, with respect for each other.

Perhaps you were one of them. Since 2020, you scoured through your state's voter rolls, looking for active voters who were, in fact, dead, illegal aliens, or simply never existed. Maybe, like Scott Presler in Pennsylvania, you went through neighborhoods, finding low propensity voters, whom you educated and lead to participate in the American voting process. One of X/Twitter's more popular posters is a very good friend who contacted other volunteers for chairs and water to be delivered to voters being suppressed in voting lines. Possibly, you were an anonymous person, conducting your own stakeout for the vans and trucks hauling fraudulent ballots. Sitting in her car in a dangerous neighborhood of Philadelphia, one of these unfathomably courageous volunteers, in her old, worn out car, in need of unaffordable maintenance, begged her car to last through the night to follow a truck hauling fraudulent ballots to its "3 a.m. drop." Acting on a tip and a hunch, she found the truck, posting photos of it on social media when she could. Other volunteers, in far away states, relayed her message in time for RNC lawyers to confront election officials at the truck's destination, successfully blocking that insertion of fraudulent ballots. Most telling to me was that these volunteers called each other by the "pronoun," Patriot.

The election outcome was a surprise to nearly everyone, me included. I didn't believe the polls, but 2020 had left me wary, nervous about the expected fraud, jumpy. Many Trump supporters are expressing their concern that some sort of martial law will be imposed by Biden or Harris to overturn the election results. I'm more optimistic, though I do expect obnoxious protests and endless lawsuits.

The election concluded in a resounding Trump victory. Nonetheless, America will suffer lasting damage. A bitter divide will remain, and as long as neighbors, friends, even family, turn on each other over personal beliefs, this national wound will not heal. Still, we shouldn't let up in our determination to make America great again.

Begging people to like you never works, and it's up to those who shunned us to extend a gesture of friendship. If the people who hate us, change their minds and want to join us in building a better America, that would be wonderful. If they don't, then we can get along without them. This year prepared me well.