Welcoming President Kamala

Hail to the impending Word-Salad-Processor in Chief!

One of the many things we're getting used to in a post-republic America is that what happens in politics, and particularly its timing, is not driven by the fundamentals occurring in reality, but by other factors at play in the rarefied domain of our ruling Elites.  Random-seeming events falling on the peasants is standard practice for most aristocratic and oligarchic forms of government, but not what we're used to.

In the American context, our only long-running experience with that mode of analysis is "Kremlinology," the dark art of trying to derive the internal Communist Party power struggles from suggestive and/or strange occurrences in the government-controlled media.  It wasn't so much that they lied - everything they said was a lie, and everyone knew it - but what and who they lied about, and how, and to some extent when.

To our great shame, American government and media now work in the same way.  We've long since established, as most Americans have realized, that everything stated in the mainstream media is a lie, as is everything said by every major politician.  Thus it was that the corruption and crimes of Joe Biden's son Hunter were hidden and actively censored by the Tech Lords and Democrat media with the desired result that many people voted for Sleepy Joe who would not have had they known the truth.

From that day forward, no matter what inanities, idiocies, or even treasons were committed by the Biden maladmistration, the media has continued their diligent spinning, covering up, and where needed, censoring of discussion.  What else can they do?  Admit that everything they've said about him was a lie from the get-go?

Until now!  All of a sudden, from out of the blue, we discover that - shock! - Joe Biden somehow forgot that he'd stashed classified information everywhere from the offices of his Chinese-funded think tank to the garage where he keeps the Corvette that Hunter works on when not stoned out on a seedy mattress with prostitutes.

This, as we've been told on a daily basis for months, is a crime worthy of execution, at least when committed by former President Donald J. Trump.  We won't trouble ourselves to go into the significant differences between the two cases (hint: it's worse for Joe, since at the time he had no legal authority over classified documents as he wasn't President, whereas Trump was).  It comes as absolutely no surprise that, though Mr. Biden's crime was known before the recent elections, it wasn't reported until afterward - we all know the reason for that, nothing to talk about here.

Nor do we have the psychic insights or inclination to indulge in Kremlinology: who's trying to off Joe Biden?  The Obama loyalists?  The Hillary loyalists?  A media fed up with covering up for his unrelenting gaffes and failures?  The Chinese, figuring they aren't getting their money's worth?  The Russians, tired of being shot at by Ukrainians with American-provided weapons?  Space aliens perhaps, afraid Joe will let slip the evidence that they exist? Who knows?

What's worth exploring, is what will happen if Joe is successfully shoved under the bus and out the White House door: President Kamala Harris.

Dumb and Dumber

Joe Biden's extraordinarily long career may be untouched by any distinguished successes, memorable speeches, or historic policies, and his ever-growing senility makes it wildly unlikely this will change.  He is, however, 80, and can be excused for his general befuddlement due to his advanced age.

At a sprightly 58, Kamala Harris has no such excuse, yet she is one of the very few people in public life who is able to make Joe Biden look eloquent.  The Internet is full of recordings, transcripts, and mashups of her notorious "word salads," about which the only good thing that can be said is that, unlike her boss, they couldn't have been plagiarized because nobody else is stupid enough to write them.

And, considering the risks we face in the world today, being utterly unintelligible isn't necessarily the worst thing: on many occasions, Joe Biden has spoken with crystal clarity words that could easily have started shooting wars, leaving his administration scrambling madly around to claim he never meant what he plainly said.  Everybody in the world knows that, however, so it isn't clear that the scramble is for anyone's benefit besides the American public.

Whether it be declaring removing Putin from power to be our policy goal or that the US military would defend Taiwan from attack, Mr. Biden risks nuclear holocaust every time he opens his mouth.  When Harris opens hers, nobody knows whether she's sending flowers, ordering in the troops, or ordering a pizza.

Still and all, an illiterate dotard surely can't be best choice for most (supposedly) powerful person on earth?  Maybe, under the current circumstances, (s)he is.

Getting Worse to Get Better

An ongoing source of frustration to political observers such as ourselves is, just how much utter garbage will the American people tolerate?  The history of America in the 21st century can be understood as an ongoing destruct test seeking to found out if, is there anything up with which the American people will not put?  Anything at all?

It was discovered a lifetime ago that Americans are perfectly fine with their grandmothers being publicly molested by the TSA for their supposed "safety," even though the TSA is not known to have stopped a single act of bona-fide terrorism while also not catching 80% of the fake weapons slipped through their scanners.

More recently, it has been learned that - well, maybe not quite all, but a clear majority of Americans - will willingly lock themselves and their loved ones up in solitude to starve, again for their supposed "safety" despite clear evidence of Covid being a far cry from the Black Plague.

We are now in a situation the old-time Stalinists would never have dreamed was possible: Anybody in public life is expected to deny the ability to distinguish between men and women, something that newborn infants of all species can handle without trouble.  Blithering stupidity is not merely tolerated, it is required.

In that sense, President Harris is perfect for the times in which we live - nobody understands what she says, so her administration won't have to un-spin it.  As an additional benefit, she is not merely even dumber and more incompetent than her demented old boss - she's Black!  And a Woman (self-identified, as there's no other way to know)!  By checking so many victimization boxes, she is beyond criticism or censure.

Democrats have hidden behind bogus accusations of racism for decades, most notoriously with Barack Obama.  But, while a ceaseless font of destructive and harmful policies documented in these pages over many years, as Joe Biden memorably observed back when he was still able to observe, President Obama was nevertheless "bright, articulate, and clean."  We've questioned his intentions, his morals, his motives, his actions, and even his origins, but never his raw brainpower or his personal hygiene.

Kamala Harris?  Well, we anticipate that a Harris administration will fulfill her plans and promises:

It's time for us to do what we have been doing, and that time is every day.

And we plan to take her every bit as seriously as she takes herself and her job:

We've got to take this stuff seriously, as seriously as you are because you have been forced to take this seriously.

Need we go on?  You may not be interested in politics, but politics is certainly interested in forcing you to take the unserious seriously... until you can't stand it anymore.

It's been said that the greatest fear of a tyrant is being ridiculed.  How is any reaction other than ridicule possible for Kamala Harris?  The fact that she is Black!  And a Woman!  cannot save her from reality.

... we hope.  Maybe this will be the final indignity that awakens the long-slumbering righteous indignation of the American people, who at long last will say that enough is enough - we demand leaders with at least two brain cells to rub together, as well as a working moral compass, and entirely without regard to the color of their skins or the contents of their underwear.

Martin Luther King put it better, but we think our point is just as clear as his.

Read other Scragged.com articles by Hobbes or other articles on Partisanship.
Reader Comments

Michelle was in Manhattan in the summer on two occasions meeting with some hedge fund managers, and she said she is planning to run, and she was asking for funding.

Joe has said he is considering running, despite his inability to make a whole clear sentence. The Dems and Michelle need to cut that off before Joe actually announces he is running.

The leak about the docs in the office and garage comes just before Joe is about to announce he is running, thereby killing any chance of him running.

The coincidence and timing is interesting given that they knew about the docs in November, but hid that information until now, just before Joe is about to announce he is running, and then somehow that suddenly got leaked to the press. I am sure the Obamas would never do such a thing.

January 19, 2023 12:30 PM

"a post-republic America." Damn, ain't that the truth. I am tired of the namby-pamby folks saying we are headed that way. We are already there.

January 19, 2023 2:47 PM

How about we swap presidents? You can have Cyril Ramaphosa and after him, almost anything would be an improvement.

January 19, 2023 10:11 PM

Is Kamala the next balloon to be shot down?


To be fair, it's tough to be vice president because you are at the mercy of the president. At the same time, can you blame Democrats for feeling let down by the V.P.'s performance? She was given the opportunity of a lifetime to work on the border issues and didn't take it seriously. Her public appearances are awful, or about as bad as her debate performances in 2020.

Some in the Marcus article call her "a work in progress." Really? Then what is she doing in the major leagues?

We're living in interesting times. A president has documents behind a Corvette. A balloon flies over the country. So anything is possible, including a balloon named Kamala getting blown up.

February 13, 2023 1:14 AM

Read the last sentence of the 12th Amendment. Kamala is not even eligible to be VP let alone pres. Her parents were not citizens when she was born and is not a "natural born citizen" as the Constitution requires.

February 14, 2023 5:36 PM

@Jack Van: She's a Democrat and checks all the BIPOC boxes. Who cares about the constitution?

February 21, 2023 4:35 PM
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