Hillary, Sick Willie, and Scragged's Tinfoil Hat

Clinton's health and conspiracy theories.

CNN reports:

Clinton, 63, was hospitalized at New York-Presbyterian Hospital's Columbia campus after experiencing brief periods of discomfort in his chest over several days, according to Dr. Allan Schwartz, the hospital's chief of cardiology.

We wish nobody ill, including Bill Clinton.  No doubt there are a great many people praying earnestly for his recovery - the classic cartoon of Brigham Young's multitudinous wives mourning his death comes to mind.

Speaking of wives, poor Hillary has had a rough couple of years of it, hasn't she?  She went into the 2008 campaign expecting unopposed coronation at the Democratic convention followed by inevitable victory.  Instead, she was blindsided by a slippery newcomer.

No matter the merits of what she said about him, she couldn't seem to land an effective blow on Barack Obama.  After he won the nomination, he didn't even do her the courtesy of considering her as Veep!  Seriously: Joe Biden was a better pick?

Ah, well, the Secretaryship of State is no mean prize, one which we expected her to make the best of.  America seems to have its hands rather full in the world today which ought to give her plenty to do.

Especially considering her less-than idyllic marriage, we did not expect to see her come flying to her ailing husband's side.  Yet here she is!

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has left Washington and headed to New York to be with her husband, former President Bill Clinton, who was hospitalized after feeling chest pains.

Let's hope this unexpected interruption doesn't make her drop the ball on North Korea, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, or any of the other multitudinous global problems she must be handling!

When we think about it, however, it's a little odd to note just how reduced her official duties actually are these days.  Some months back, the politically observant Dick Morris wrote an entire article on the subject:

It may appear odd to describe a secretary of State as marginalized, but Obama has surrounded Hillary with his people and carved up her jurisdiction geographically. Former Sen. George Mitchell (D-Maine) is in charge of Arab-Israeli relations. Dennis Ross has Iran. Former U.N. Ambassador Dick Holbrooke has Pakistan and Afghanistan. And Hillary has to share her foreign policy role on the National Security Council (NSC) with Vice President Biden, U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, CIA chief Leon Panetta, and NSC staffer Samantha Powers (who once called Hillary a "monster").

With peers who are competitors and subordinates who can deal directly with the president, Hillary is reduced to announcing foreign aid packages for Pakistan while Holbrooke does the heavy lifting.  [emphasis added]

On reflection, Mr. Morris very much has a point.  How often did we see Secretary of State Colin Powell or Condi Rice on the news when they held office?  At least a couple times a week, and that was a simpler time.

How often do we see Hillary?  Gee... hard to say... seems like a couple of months ago.  The world has gotten more troublesome, not less; this should make Hillary a bigger player, not a smaller one.

If there's one thing Clinton's don't appreciate, it's being made small.  Does anyone, anywhere think that Hillary has given up her Oval Office dreams?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Nope, didn't think so.  Given that we're agreed Hillary still wants the presidency, it would seem reasonable that she'd want it in 2012 rather than 2016.

In 2016, not only will Hillary be getting a bit longer in the tooth, but America will either have had eight economically devastating years of Obamian socialism and be desperate for change, or be enjoying four years of Republican recovery and want to stay on that road.  The Clintons are centrist enough to realize this.

It's 2012 or never.  That means a primary run against Barack Obama.

There's good reason to believe she'd have a chance: Obama is doing such a spectacularly incompetent job with our national security, to say nothing of scaring the bejeezus out of New York City by wanting to send terrorists there, that quite a few of the old "Hillraisers" are starting to sound like Dick Cheney on a bad day:

Sitting here thinking about the latest attempt Muslims made to destroy a commercial airliner and murder everyone aboard, with whatever they were up to on the Northwest Airlines flight from Holland to Detroit, we've realized how easy it would actually be to solve terrorism if Western governments had any backbone - or if a Western, non-government, pan-national movement arose to counter Al Queda and other Muslim terrorist groups on its own.

Terrorism could actually be solved in one easy step, that should go something like this:

* every time Muslims attack an embassy, an airliner, a hotel, or any other Western target, a prominent mosque somewhere will be demolished...

Is there a market opportunity for an old-fashioned FDR-style national-security Democrat hawk candidate?  As Hillary's likely opponent would say: You betcha!

The problem is, you can't run against the President while you're sitting in his cabinet.  Also, you can't just bail from a cabinet post for no good reason: you look like a quitter or a whiner.  There has to be a solid, substantive explanation for her resignation that people would buy into without disqualifying her for 3AM phone calls.

What more substantive, unimpeachable reason could there be than a concerned wife resigning a demandingly high office to care for her ailing husband?  Once again, a high post is cruelly snatched from a woman because of society's sexist expectations!  Yet more proof of the fierce urgency of breaking that ultimate glass ceiling by shoving a woman through it headfirst!

Ol' Slick Willie enjoyed his eight years in the White House; he'd not be averse to clutching his chest and emitting piteous moans if he thought it could score him another eight, or even four, and he already acts like he's the First Man.

Former president Bill Clinton was released Friday morning from a New York hospital, where he stayed overnight after doctors inserted two stents into a clogged coronary artery after he complained of chest pains. The one-hour procedure went smoothly, according to his cardiologist.

Hmm. OK, guess not.  Tinfoil hat off.

But still...  Even the paranoid have enemies!  Somewhere in a dimly lit room, you just know the Clintons are still scheming.  For the right price, Mr. Clinton's cardiologist will say anything they want said.

Let's see how fast Bill Clinton really recovers!

Petrarch is a contributing editor for Scragged.  Read other Scragged.com articles by Petrarch or other articles on Partisanship.
Reader Comments
Ha! Brilliant. I had not thought of the connection, but with the Clintons anything is possible.

It's a reach to think that they PLANNED the heart attack and paid off all the players.

But Hillary might realize where she's at, as articulated by Petrarch, and use the opportunity.
February 15, 2010 8:19 AM
Tinfoil hat?
February 16, 2010 11:50 AM
Google is your friend, Jamie:

February 17, 2010 1:03 PM
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