Why Democrats Need Hookers

Because their wives are Democrats too.

It's long been known to science, and we've pointed out elsewhere, that women have far more sexual capacity than do men.  We're not saying that women are more interested in sex than men are, simply that women are physically able to make love a lot more often than most men.  If a woman wants a monogamous relationship with her husband, knowledgeable authorities such as Dr. Laura Schlessinger offer sage advice:

Dr. Laura ... said that if a man is satisfied at home, that doesn't make it impossible that he'll stray, but surely it makes it far less likely and far less frequent.  That being so, if a husband does stray, how can it be unreasonable to at least consider what the wife might have done via contributory negligence?

The present feminist ideology argues that depending on men is demeaning and that having children interferes with a woman's career.  Feminism also teaches independence, "I can do it for myself" - not taking care of a man or children.  This makes the thought of Hillary being a feminist icon somewhat contradictory - everybody knows she could never have had a political career of her own without having been attached to her husband for many years, and suffering no few indignities along the way.

The media have attempted to portray sexual issues as being confined to the Republican party.  They made a huge fuss over Sen. Packwood (R) allegedly groping women while ignoring Sen. Kennedy's (D) more intense activities beneath the tables of restaurants, for example.

Although the mainstream media traditionally does their very best to ignore the fact that any number of sleazy politicians were Democrats when discussing their philandering, it's clear that Democrats suffer from marital blues.  We've seen well-publicized instances of misbehavior by Gov Spitzer (D-NY), President Bill Clinton (D-USA), and Thomas L. Athans, VP of Air America and husband of Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), to name but three.

No Surprise, This

The problem stems from the fact that women had to depend on men to feed them all through our hunter-gatherer period and from the dawn of agriculture until maybe 100 years ago.  During all those millennia, a woman who got pregnant on the wrong side of the blanket had a high probability of starving to death.

Without birth control, most women depended on men for food and spent their entire lives from puberty to menopause either pregnant or nursing a baby.  Nursing kept a woman from ovulating, but when a child was weaned, she became fertile again.  A fertile wife was soon a pregnant wife.

Thus, women were selected to cling strongly to men with whom they had sex; a woman who couldn't or wouldn't cling starved to death and was bred out of the gene pool.

Researchers are beginning to explore how men and women react to sex.  Sexual activity releases different hormones in men and in women.  Sex releases hormones in women which make them want to build relationships.  Meeting a man's sexual needs strengthens a woman's need for a relationship which damages or destroys her sense of independence.

The more ambitious her husband, the harder he drives towards his goals, the more often he'll want sex.   Women who value the independence that comes with business or political careers tend to be reluctant to fulfill a husband's desires.  The more ambitious her husband, the more he wants and the worse it gets.

Blue State, Blue Men

Everybody knows what men like even if they won't admit it.  Is it any wonder that some men seek elsewhere what they can't get at home?

Now we come to the question of why this is potentially more of a Democratic problem than a Republican one.

A woman who believes in the traditional wifely role is going to be much more likely to marry a man who feels the same way politically, which is to say, conservative.  That is most likely a significant reason why conservatives have more children than liberals do, and are happier.

Since children tend strongly to follow their parents' political leanings, over time, liberals will breed themselves out of the gene pool.  Let's hope that they don't destroy our civilization on their way out.

In the meantime, an independent-minded liberal woman is going to be less likely to be willing to meet her husband's needs than a conservative wife, so he's more likely to go elsewhere.

Why do Democrats need hookers?  Simple: Because they marry feminists.

Lee Tydings is a guest writer for Scragged.com.  Read other Scragged.com articles by Lee Tydings or other articles on Partisanship.
Reader Comments
I truly feel stupider for having read this.
July 18, 2008 12:06 AM

Lee, therapy is just ONE phone call away.

October 17, 2010 12:50 AM
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