You Are What You Won't Eat

The Scragged Racism Test.

Scragged often pokes prose at bureaucracies which exceed their authority, lean on people, give bad advice, and generally cost society far more than they're worth.

We've uncovered yet another case of bureaucratic excess which will not only cost society a great deal of money, it can lead to a great deal of unnecessary trauma among parents who're already suffering from an excess of advice from so-called child "experts."  We allude to the article "Claim: Kids who say 'yuck' may be racist" posted by Breitbart.  The article says:

Toddlers who say "yuck" when given flavorful foreign food may be exhibiting racist behavior, a British government-sponsored organization says. The London-based National Children's Bureau released a 366-page guide counseling adults on recognizing racist behavior in young children, the Telegraph reported Monday.  The guide, titled Young Children and Racial Justice, warns adults that babies must also be included in the effort to eliminate racism because they have the ability to "recognize different people in their lives."  The bureau says to be aware of children who "react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying 'yuck'."  "Racist incidents among children in early years settings tend to be around name-calling, casual thoughtless comments and peer group relationships," the guide says.  Staff members are advised not to ignore racist actions and to condemn them when they occur.

This is amazing; we never knew that children practice racism when they "recognize different people in their lives."  The bureaucrats are correct in noting that children have the ability to "recognize different people in their lives"; mothers figure this out pretty quickly.

One wonders how many taxpayer dollars went into verifying that, indeed, children recognize different people?  If a black baby recognizes that a white person who picks him up is not his mother and screams, is he being a racist?  Or are these bureaucrats simply wasting tax money?

Having on numerous occasions urged a reluctant child to just try an unfamiliar food, we found the claim that rejecting unfamiliar foods is a sign of racism to be so ludicrous that all of us at Scragged had trouble believing that even bureaucrats would take it seriously.

We found, however, that a) there is indeed such a book, b) you can't get it electronically, you have to buy it, and c) it has been praised lavishly by the author's peers in the bureaucracy.  The intended audience is child care workers who're supposed to be sensitized to racism among their charges so they can teach them not to be so racist.

It turns out that we were wrong all along.  We thought kids turned down foods either because a) the food was unfamiliar or b) they simply didn't like it, but we now learn that children are far more subtle than we'd thought.

It's not that children don't like foreign food, it's that they have deep seated racial prejudices against foreign people who eat the food.  The article doesn't say how children are able to figure out which racial group is associated with a particular food, but obviously, the experts have found out that kids know far more than mere parents think they know.

We know a child who doesn't like steak and another who doesn't like hot dogs.  We thought they were just being picky but now their innermost secrets are revealed for all to see - these kids are prejudiced against Americans. No doubt they can look forward to a stellar career with the United Nations.

How Racism Comes

Back in 1949, what we regarded as the definitive word on the origin of racism was pronounced in the song "You've Got To Be Carefully Taught" from the musical South Pacific.  The song encountered vehement criticism and was said by some to be inappropriate for the stage.

Sung by the character Lieutenant Cable, who is wrestling between his Philadelphia Main Line upbringing and his love for a Tonkinese island girl, the song comes after the Lieutenant said that racism is "not born in you!  It happens after you're born..."

The latter sentiment is completely true.  Although most people have an instinctive affinity for others who are similar to themselves, no baby is born a hard-core racist; racism is a learned behavior.  The song gives a very simple formula for dealing with racism, both now and in the future:

"You've got to be taught to hate and fear
You've got to be taught from year to year
It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!"

We've watched children of many ages base their acceptance or rejection of another child mostly on how their parents react to the child.  Once they start to play, they react based on how that child treats them.

We had believed for many years that this song, which we can read for free, goes to the heart of the matter.  We believed that the best way to teach a child to accept other races is by setting an example of accepting other races.  As Chief Justice John Roberts put it, "The way to end racial discrimination is to stop discriminating by race."

Now, however, along comes a peer-reviewed tome to the accompaniment of lavish praise from the author's peers in the government-funded child care bureaucracy which tells us we've got it all wrong.  Setting an example of tolerance for other races and teaching children to share their toys, wait their turn, and play peaceably together is not good enough.

In order to get children to accept other races, we have to force children not only to eat food which is preferred by people of other races, we've got to force them to like it.

Ought we to mention the fact that if parents set an example of tolerance for their children, which they can do without buying massive paperweights from researchers, there'd be no racism to fight?  People who fight child racism for a living would be out of a job if they couldn't find enough racist behavior in children to study. Like all bureaucracies, child racism bureaucrats prefer lavish, expensive methods whose failures preserve their budget for next year.

The MSM Racism Test

The mainstream media have taken the position that racism is so terrible that only a Republican could possibly tolerate it, unless they're urging our Supreme Court to require government-sponsored racism, which is OK.

As they had previously anointed Hillary,  the media have now anointed Mr. Obama to be our next president. To the liberal mind, Mr. Obama is so obviously over-qualified to lead our country in all matters both domestic and international that the only way anyone could possibly vote against him would be because of racism.

They're already taking the position that anyone who doesn't vote for Mr. Obama is a racist.  The MSM Racism Test is being a devout Yeswiccan - if you are, you aren't racist, but if you prefer McCain, you can't be anything but.

Fortunately, you don't have to rely on the MSM to prove you're not racist.  You don't even have to wait until November.  There's a certified test you can perform right now in the privacy of your very own home, the Scragged Racism Test.

The Scragged Racism Test

Based on exhaustive research documented in a 366-page guide to recognizing racism, we can now offer you the definitive, unarguable, irrefutable, peer-reviewed Scragged Racism Test!  Want to know if you're a racist?

Just look at this picture and ask yourself if you'd like to eat those yummy fried scorpions, a popular delicacy in mainland China.  If not, if your reaction is "Yuck," by the authority vested in Scragged by the National Children's Bureau and their many peers, we pronounce you a hard-core racist.

Want to redeem yourself?  Want to show you're not racist?  Want to become politically correct so that the bureaucracy will accept you as tolerant?  No need to vote for Obama.  Go out and eat scorpions!

In mere weeks, countless thousands of the world's great and good will gather in Beijing for the 2008 Olympic Games.  Thanks to prodigious feats of organizational planning, we are proud to announce that the Scragged Racism Test will be proffered for a mere few cents by street vendors on every side.

Who will pass?  Who will fail?  We await the results with bated breath.

Read other articles by Hobbes or other articles on Bureaucracy.
Reader Comments
What a hilariously-stupid thing to use as an "early sign of racism". The problem with the report is that the NCB and other agencies have predetermined agendas to push one world harmony at the cost of anything and everything. And they think this helps that.
July 9, 2008 9:01 AM
Ha ha ha... I love when libs do stupid shit like this. They make themselves into laughing stocks and show their true colors. Like the "only use one square of toilet paper" thing. LOL. Fucking hilarious.
July 9, 2008 10:38 AM
There is an interesting video called "A Class Divided" where a woman named Jane Elliott tells her class that blue eyed people are better then brown eyed people. The next day she says she lied and that brown eyed people are actually better then blue eyed people. After all is said and done she informs the children that neither is better.

The reaction from the class in incredible. She made horrible people out of those children for a day. I'm fairly sure that blue and brown eyed people eat the same food.
July 9, 2008 11:43 AM
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I got a good laugh out of this! (Even though I secretly wonder about the sanity of these researchers.)

I am definitely NOT a child but according to your test, I am a racist, cause I ain't eating any scorpions! So there! Yuck and Ptooey!

BTW, my husband, my kids and my grandkids are anchovy racists, as well! SIGH!
July 9, 2008 1:18 PM
Where ARE anchovies from anyway? Would that be a "water people" racist? Aren't those fished from everywhere? I guess you would be a humanist. Wait... That sounds like the opposite. Oh well, I'm confused again.
July 9, 2008 1:41 PM
Interesting that Google placed an ad about interracial marriage on your site because of the content of this web page. The topic was about "eating" as much as it was "race". Well, I suppose that still applies... (blush)
July 9, 2008 1:44 PM
My son doesn't even know to call the black children at his school "black" or "African-american" or whatever. If he's talking about one, he says "The brown-skinned girl", if he mentions skin color at all. Of course, his Hindu teacher is also brown-skinned, as are the Mexicans. And people that are light-skinned? "peach"

@jonyfries - I remember that movie. They won't allow it to be played in many schools anymore.
July 9, 2008 11:36 PM
Science News has documented the desirability of eating insects, June 7, 2008 issue, p 16

"Residentsof at least 113 nations eat bugs."

"This practice, known as entomophagy, makes sense because insects tend to be quote nutritious."

"Grilled cicadas are more likely to elicit a 'yikes' than a 'yum' from most Europeans and North Americans. But why? Most of these people are happy to eat crab, lobster, and shrimp - the ocean equivalent of insects."

So if you won't eat Scragged's yummy fried scorpions,you're not only a racist, you're wasting money. Insects make protein a lot more efficiently than cows do.
August 29, 2008 7:51 PM
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